


Your Greatest Fears

by Sreya



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Crossover, Gen, Hydra, Mind Control, though not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 23:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4119235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sreya/pseuds/Sreya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ward takes a wrong turn after leaving Jemma Simmons in List's Hydra facility.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Greatest Fears

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I have how many WIPs going now? But when the plot bunny bites...  
> (I'll update character info and tags as I settle on what's coming next)

_“I’m disappointed in you.”_

His words, along with the defiant glare Simmons had worn as she watched Bakshi disintegrate and then faced down the barrel of his gun, echoed through Ward’s mind as he made his way through the base. Returning with the team was obviously no longer an option. Of course he’d always had his own exit plan, he wasn’t _stupid_ , but there’d been a moment there… fighting alongside Skye, protecting the team… he’d felt like he was _home_ again, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he should stay…

But he was just fooling himself again, giving into that weakness that craved their company, that sense of camaraderie. He was a monster, beyond forgiveness, and he knew that. 

But for _Jemma Simmons_ to be the one to try to kill him, to remind him of just how broken they all were, was horrifying. Stopping at a corner, he put out a hand to lean against the wall and shivered. He shouldn’t stop, he should keep going. But it was finally sinking in that _Simmons had tried to kill him_ , that Simmons actually _did_ kill Bakshi, and stood straight and tall without a hint of hesitation when she demanded that he kill her like the monster she knew him to be.

He shook his head to clear it and fought down the nausea. He had to keep moving before he was caught.

When he turned a corner a few minutes later and found a squad of Hydra foot soldiers ready for him, when they tossed a stun grenade his way and the blue flash washed over him, his last thought before the darkness took him was that maybe it would have been better after all to let Simmons kill him.

{ AOS / AVENGERS }

Wanda Maximoff stood along the wall with her brother as men rushed about carrying in equipment from List’s plane. She’d heard his discussion with Stucker earlier - that SHIELD had overrun List’s laboratories, stolen his two most promising subjects and taken out a good third of his manpower. But Wanda had seen how List kept back how it happened - that he’d been betrayed by Sunil Bakshi who had led the SHIELD agents straight to them, distracting him by dangling a toy soldier for him to play with. That his data servers had been compromised, all but guaranteeing that Strucker’s location was no longer secret.

But it would take more than the ragtag band of SHIELD agents to take down Strucker’s fortress. If anyone was to come after them, it would be the Avengers. So Wanda kept her knowledge to herself. _Let them come_ , she thought to herself. _Let them come, so we can finally meet Tony Stark face to face._

A ruckus near the plane caught her attention, and she turned to see a prisoner being escorted across the hangar. A bag was over his head and he was shackled; he gave a few token attempts at shaking off his captors, then just let himself go limp, his feet dragging along the floor. She looked a bit deeper, and could see the turmoil and despair that consumed the prisoner, yet still a powerful desire to live, to break free. It was an intoxicating combination.

The next day, Strucker ordered her to assess the prisoner. 

He was shackled to the wall, huddled and glaring up at her when she entered. His face was bruised and cut with dried blood caked in his beard. She knelt down in front of him, completely unafraid. She saw the slightest hint of surprise at this in his eyes, then he grinned at her. “Come to poke the bear?”

She smirked. “More like poke about inside your head.”

His face fell. “So it’s brainwashing, then.” He rolled his shoulders and recovered the glare he’d first greeted her with. “You won’t find me so easy to break.”

She held up her hands and watched his eyes dart to them as they started to glow red. “That is not what this is about.”

As she entered his mind, she felt him struggle against her, trying to hide, but his panic and fear blazed an easy trail to follow. They were plunged into icy cold water, deep, dark water, with the light far above them.

_Grant! Help me!_

It echoed around, and they were suddenly reversed, looking down at a small boy reaching out. She pushed, and then they were burning, surrounded by fire. They were a young man, choking back tears as the house burned before them, suddenly watching as Ward strode through the fire into the house. Simultaneously outside watching the house burn and inside firing a gun at their family as they screamed at him, echoes of a turbulent childhood carrying throughout the burning house. The gunfire carried them to a whirlwind of images, faces, hands, blood. Then they were reaching out to a woman with a burned face. 

_We’ll figure it out together. I promise._

Rage, more powerful than anything she’d ever felt, washed over them in waves. A cold, metal staff in their hands burned away at the soul, replacing it with hate and anger and a hunger only quenched with blood spilled on the floor.

_Ward, this isn’t you!_

Betrayal and lies. Orders, an entire life filled with nothing but orders. Looking into a mirror to be sure the blood was washed away, but not recognizing the man gazing back. _Who am I?_

_She thinks I’m a monster_.

Two small people shouting in a locked box, pleading, as they turned away in agony to hit the release button. Turning back to look, only to be _in_ the box, looking out at the man standing there, empty, broken, a shell of a man too weak to use his own strength. As the image flickered, it was no longer a man standing there, only the monster, all humanity stripped away.

She pulled back sharply and stumbled away from the prisoner. He was crouched, tears running down his face and his mouth stretched in a silent scream. Wanda pulled herself up from the floor and exited the cell, leaning against the door outside.

She looked down at her hands, traces of red magic dancing amongst her fingers. The echoes of the agony of the man on the other side of the door beat against her skin. Pietro found her there - minutes? hours? - later, and gently guided her back to their quarters _(cage)_.

“What did you see?” he asked once they were alone.

She shook her head sadly. “His greatest fear is himself.” Staring at her hands, she couldn’t help but think to herself, _Perhaps that is my greatest fear as well._

But when Strucker asked what she’d found, she simply said, “He is open to the change. He will not mourn leaving himself behind.”

“Excellent!” Strucker praised her.

The prisoner was transferred to the laboratory within the hour.


End file.
